Courtesy Should Come Without Thought of Reward

Novato, California: July 19, 2008

On a mission to quench my high-octane bean juice fix on Saturday morning, I aimed my car for the Starbucks café at the Vintage Oaks shopping center in Novato, California. Upon arrival, I instinctually engaged in a simple timeless ritual: I held the door open for a 30-something woman and her young child. This mother-daughter duo took their place in the queue immediately in front of me and nothing was said.

My mind quickly wandered elsewhere as I inched closer to the barista taking coffee orders. Fresh on my brain was the impending closure of 600 Starbucks locations nationwide – a seemingly inconceivable event for the successful Seattle-based giant that found a way to make American coffee tastes more epicurean and charge through the gills for such an addiction. I next wondered why an individual with any sense of self-preservation considers tackling one of those fattening bear claws in the pastry display case. Really, each one is a candidate for its own health study and zip code.

Roused from my trance moments later, the woman with child in tow politely asked me what I wanted to drink. Thinking like a health-conscious minimalist: Why, a tall nonfat latte, of course. But why was she asking me?

The woman promptly explained that she wished to reward me for demonstrating a level of kindness rarely seen.

“We left Marin County because people are not very courteous,” she said, to the chagrin of some customers and employees in earshot. “You held the door for us and I appreciate that.”

I initially declined her kind offer, but she held steadfast in her conviction, and besides, there was no sense in changing her otherwise high opinion of me. So, she purchased the aforementioned latte - MSRP $2.65, plus tax – and I praised the generous act with a few kind words and a smile.

As I exited the establishment and took a seat outdoors, it dawned on me - whether one lives in Marin County or not - etiquette is eroding these days. Has our self-absorption compelled us to eschew good manners and courtesy to others?

Moral of the story: We must remember to hold the door for our fellow man and woman - young or old. Not for the possibility of a free cup of coffee, but only because it is the right thing to do.