Napa, California: Sometime in 2006
While digging through the deepest, darkest recesses of the archives this afternoon, I reacquainted myself with a humorous classified advertisement from the Napa Valley Register. A one-time coworker clipped this for me back in 2006 and I will now share it – that is – after I blow the dust off and smooth the creases. To wit:
“QUIET, unique 3 room living space fully furnished includes air conditioner, 2 beds with linens, large kitchen w/pantry, refrigerator/freezer, gas range, table, table cloth, chairs, pots/pans, dishes, knives, forks, spoons, salt, pepper, vacuum, broom, mop, ironing board, washer, dryer, satellite dish, TV, water, garage, gas, electricity, a doz eggs & a pound of bacon in refrigerator; all included $1000/mo + $1000 deposit.”
After reading that description, I am left with an assortment of questions, not to mention cramps in my side from excessive chuckling. Indeed, the presence of salt and pepper in the unit are key selling points, for certain.
I don’t even want to consider the cost per word to place this classified. Doubtless, the owner of this property had to liquidate his or her Swiss bank account(s) to pay for such a lengthy ad.
It appears as if the previous tenant and/or the owner intended to leave more personal effects behind than is necessary to classify this place as the typical furnished living space. That begs the question: Where will the prospective tenant put all of his or her possessions? Better come up with a comprehensive game plan before unpacking that U-Haul.
And, mmmmm … greasy, salty bacon sits in the fridge and awaits consumption. Sure hope its not Sizzlean – or worse yet – turkey bacon!
I was not looking to relocate two years ago, but somehow feel like I missed out for not taking advantage of this seemingly lucrative rental arrangement in the pricy Napa Valley. No sense in crying in my wine about it though.
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